Valentine's Day: The Enemy of Adventure

That vague sense of impending doom? Yeah, that's a sign that Valentine's Day is coming up. Never mind that St. Valentine(s) was a hardcore martyr(s)/saint(s) extraordinaire(s), look what happened after his/their death(s)! (Plural confusing you? Click here.) Someone, someone who deserves to be killed by a slew of Cupid's arrows, had the brilliant idea to commercialize his feast. Now there is an entire 24 hours dedicated to romance --- and some of us are on the outside looking in. 
* I have discovered that it is held that Chaucer of Canterbury Tales fame first associated V-day with love. However, it was not commercialized until centuries later.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, yours truly is perpetually single. It's actually pretty fun, when you think about it. I'm in that magical stage of my life where I am learning all about who I am. And you know what? I'm BRILLIANT! When things are meant to happen, they'll happen, so until then, I am going to celebrate my perpetual singleness with nut-free chocolate and decaffeinated Earl Grey. No pity parties for me!

Another thing that is lovely about being single is boys from books. You can enjoy them all, guilt-free. No commitment whatsoever. I can wax poetic about Mr. Knightley one moment, and be completely free to drool over Captain/Lord/Mr. Bradford the next. Boyfriends tie you down. Allow me to demonstrate. Back in my personal Dark Ages, a.k.a. my Jonas Brothers phase, I was hopelessly in love with Nicholas Jerry Jonas. (I just scared myself. How do I know his middle name? HOW DO I STILL REMEMBER THIS GUY'S MIDDLE NAME!?) Apparently my baby-sitter liked him too. (Yes, I was still young enough to have a baby-sitter. Awkward...) Well, she was in a relationship with some guy, don't really know who, and we were talking about boys. Because that's what young girls always talk about with their baby-sitters, right? Anyways, I asked her if she'd dump her boyfriend for Nick Jonas, you know, if Nick Jonas ever randomly showed up in a helicopter, got on one knee, and asked her to go out with him for burgers and milkshakes. (You'd have to be careful with the milkshakes because he has diabetes and you'd have to mind that he didn't overdo it on the sugar.) And you know what she said? NO. Middle school me could hardly believe it.

"But he's NICK JONAS!" I gaped.

My baby-sitter finished putting the last coat of nail polish on my nails (because I was also too young to paint my own nails with any success). "Yeah, but I like *insert boyfriend's nowadays ex-boyfriend's name here*. I wouldn't want to give that up." 

HOW CAN YOU RESIST THAT FACE?

Do you see what being in a relationship does to you? To quote The Princess and the Frog, "Hitchin' ties you down! You just wanna be free, hop from place to place!" We all saw what problems Rose Tyler's pseudo-relationship with Mickey caused when she was adventuring with the Doctor. See, I can't properly enjoy my fictional men if I'm dating! If Nick Jonas showed up in a helicopter, I would be taken. Relationships interfere with adventures. Tumnus asks you for tea, Hagrid tells you you're a wizard, the Doctor grabs your hand and whispers "run", Bilbo hands you the Ring, or a portal opens that can take you to any fictional world of your choosing. Your response? "Sorry, my boyfriend is waiting for me. We're supposed to be going out for texting and scones later. Later." ISN'T THAT UBER LAME!?

You can't go for texting and scones with the Doctor (or Rory) if you're in a relationship. Duh.

The more I think about it, the more I'd like to die a spinster. I could don a fabulous cap like Jane Austen did even though she technically wasn't a widow or spinster yet and I could spoil my nieces and nephews with sweets. Ah, yes. I think I shall die alone. Alone and free. Mmm, yes, I like that plan. Spinsterhood, here I come!

I like adventures, which is why I will end up an old maid.

 DISCLAIMER: This post is dripping with sarcasm and should not be taken literally. The authoress is, in fact, content with her marital status and simultaneously enjoys reading about grand adventures and gallant gentlemen. She does not, however, resent dating, nor does she have any intention of dying an old maid. Furthermore, the authoress extends her most sincere wishes for a happy Valentine's Day to all her readers.

Image Credits: first, second, third, fourth

I've got this friend thing in the bag.

Conversation can be intimidating. I fluctuate between being an expert conversationalist and a floundering, speechless dimbo. My go-to conversation-starter spiel goes a little something like this.

1. Shout and/or say the person's name in a strange accent.
2. Ask a ridiculous question while bouncing around like my sister when the rest of my sisters and I spiked her milk with sugar a few years ago.
3. Stumble through the rest of the interaction.
* If you don't believe me, I can have any number people confirm that THIS IS A THING and I really do it.

On account of my general social awkwardness (which may or may not be apparent), I love it when other people approach me. (Assuming I want to talk to them. Obviously.) I don't have to scream their name like I'm being murdered in a horror film to get their attention! Better yet is when they come prepared with a topic of conversation, lest I resort to pithy arguments where my opinion makes virtually no sense. This too is a "thing". I've done it several times over. Pity me in my lack of social prowess.

Enter my Pride and Prejudice tote bag.

 

This thing is washable canvas, perfectly sized to contain my schoolbooks and my allergy medication, AND is the ideal conversation starter. I have lost track of the number of compliments this bag has earned me. Some of them have been from gentlemenly persons. They were males who were dead serious about my Jane Austen paraphernalia. As it turns out, some of my college friends had scoped me out as potential friend material way back during orientation on account of my bag. (Emily detailed the whole start of our friendship on her blog.) I'm telling you, this tote bag is amazing. Thank goodness I have a second one at home.

(Long story. Another post for another day.)

I guess the moral of the story is that it's a good idea to wear your heart on your sleeve. Or, more specifically, your interests on your bag. Makes the whole conversation thing at least twenty times easier. The end.

The Art of Persuasion

I just finished reading Jane Austen's Persuasion, and let's just say I'm a little overwhelmed... and making plans to reread every Austen novel ever. I'll tell you why!

When my dad convinced me to read Pride and Prejudice, I didn't really see much beyond the face value of the romance. And let's face it: P&P is an awesome romance. Lizzy and Darcy's love/hate relationship has inspired countless other love/hate love stories. (Plus, Darcy is pretty much one of the most attractive men in all of literature.) Meanwhile, my fourteen/fifteen year-old self had no appreciation for anything resembling "depth". It was a love story that made people think you were smart if you said you read it! What's not to like!?

Fast forward to eighteen year-old me closing her copy of Persuasion. I felt satisfied, and yet... This wasn't "bright, sparkling" P&P. I mean, I had giggled over Wentworth's swoonworthy declaration of love (give that man an AWARD), but still... Had I missed something? Wanting to read some more, I flipped to the front of the book to read the introduction essay.

Those who are attracted to Jane Austen because of nostalgia for the stability of class and clarity of old-fashioned values in picturesque English villages miss the most profound theme in her writing. Celebrated for simplicity, quaintness, and old-fashioned certainties, Austen in her last novel turns out to be complicated, thorny, and most of all, anxiously uncertain about the world developing around her. At times she appears to be talking herself into a "cheerful confidence in futurity." It is tempting to imagine where she would have taken this direction had she lived. But this novel was to be her final attempted act of (self-) persuasion.

Um, wow. That's a lot to swallow.

The extra bit of insight Susan Ostrov Weisser's essay provided had me analyzing every chapter, every character, everything. Furthermore, the essay called into question the Jane Austen stereotype: "sweetly old-fashioned, genially mild and reserved, spirited but primly spinsterish". The mysteries of Austen's character make her novels even more open to interpretation, if you ask me.

This comic makes me proud that Mansfield Park is my favorite one of her novels.

In short, I now want to reread all of her books and start asking some bigger questions. I'd highly encourage you to do the same!

Of course, this doesn't mean I'm going to stop enjoying period dramas from a nostalgic perspective. (see below)

Have you ever read a book and were surprised by the deeper meaning of its contents?

Oh, what a beautiful morning!

If you really must know, I had the pleasure of seeing Ally, Marlene, and Athena from Charlie and Me over the weekend. As you can imagine, much silliness ensued. There may or may not have been light saber fights involved.

Anywho, Ally gave me a lovely idea! She told me she had gotten up early, made herself a cup of tea, and given herself some time to write. I decided to do the same. I gathered up my favorite Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati mug, the ingredients for a perfect cup of Earl Grey, as well as Ally's graduation gift to me. (This is my cue to gush about how AWESOME my present is.)

Ally got me some "unblockers", or "inspiration dice for writers and storytellers" by Palimpsestic. According to the tag, "these dice feature words and phrases torn directly from a used and abused 1962 copy of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen". Let me just tell you, these things are so cool. They're covered with all sorts of great, story-worthy words ("influence", "horrid man", "young ladies", "conjecture", "evening", etc.)! I tried rolling them all at once, then tried a single roll. I got the word "listen", and next thing I knew I was jotting down character and story ideas at light speed! If you want your own pair, go to http://palimpsestic.etsy.com. (No worries -- I didn't peek, Ally!)

Also, I found a webpage that said this at the top while searching for some background info for my writing.

• Is there a novel in every person?
• Are there stories that have never been told because they seemed unimportant?
• What is the value of the lives of people who will never be famous or have their biographies written?

 BIG QUESTIONS. Questions that maybe I'll answer some day.

So! Moral of the story: Writing in the morning is great, and it's even better with tea.

"Super-heated infusion of free-radicals and tannin, just the thing for healing the synapses..."

My mug. <3

Welcome, Summer

Ladies n' gents, I just graduated on Friday. *cue the fanfare* So much has happened that would be of interest to you readers out there. For example, I won the Great Expectations Award at valediction. My English teacher gave the most amazing speech, wherein I was compared to Austen heroines and presented with so much Pride & Prejudice merchandise I nearly imploded with joy. There was another Darcy encounter (see here and here). It will probably be the last. (Maybe there will be other Austen hero encounters in the future?) We had to sit next to each other for extended periods of time, and I attempted conversation, and... Well, it went something like this conversation, minus the sexual tension. It was just full of AWKWARD.

I also failed epically at defending Matt Smiths' portrayal of the Doctor within the same time frame. Eleven, I am sorry... so sorry.

The night after my graduation, I had this moment with my mom:

 

Since then, I've been alright. Lots of partying, eating, dancing, running around, swimming, being generally crazy. Summer is lovely, and I had forgotten just how wonderful it is. I've been going on my daily walks and making plenty of fun plans, and I'm even leaving for the beach tomorrow! Doesn't that sound like fun!? 

The beach is going to mean lots of writing time, as well as reading time, which I am looking forward to. I have no project to speak of. I intend to join my friend Ally over at Charlie and Me with her plans to having a Write Cleanse experience. Other than that, I'm winging it!

Please pardon my online absence; I've been veryvery busy and I had a lot to do, and I didn't have a minute to explain it all to you. I hope to have plenty of fresh, summery stories to share with you when I get back from vacation! Until then, enjoy the start of this magical season. Read at every chance you get. (In case you're wondering, I'm enjoying a borrowed copy of Percy Wynn: Or Making a Boy of Him.) My first summer recommendation for you all would have to be In the Kingdom of the Fairies: A Memoir of a Magical Summer and a Remarkable Friendship (find it here). My mother read it to my sisters and I when we were young and we devoured it.

I'll let you know when I'm back from vacation. There is a possibility of going to a used book/coffee/tea shop, so wish me luck!!!

Guess I'm not handsome enough to tempt him.

You may or may not remember this post, where I talked about an encounter with this guy who looks like Daniel Vincent Gordh (from "The Lizzie Bennet Diaries") and sort of acts like Darcy (although the question of Darcy-caliber-character remains unresolved).

I play good Darcy. Hehe.

Well, there was another encounter. It goes a little something like this...

So, I'm walking into my AP Exam, lookin' like a boss. I wore a dress and everything. Everyone else is wearing sweatpants and I'm all:

I'm gonna be one fly companion, ladies n' gents. I can't save the world unless I feel confident, and there is nothing like a dress to make me feel kick-butt. I'll probably have to pair it with sensible shoes, biker shorts, and wear 20 hair ties on my wrist, but I'll be ready to defeat evil across the galaxy.

ANYWAYS. I walk up to the door and said Darcy character is on the other side. He's just chilling with like 1 or 2 people, like usual. (*cough*BingleyandCaroline*cough*) So this is what I see in my brain:

And I walk in all like:

I'm heeeeeeeeeeeeere.

And he reaches over and pushes open the door. Not a full-out "I'm opening the door for you in a gentlemanly fashion", but it indicated knowledge of my existence and at least some degree of chivalry.

So after my exam, I go to Panera's with mah BFF and I'm all:

HE SORT OF HELD OPEN THE DOOR FOR ME!

Derp derp derp, we eat our food, I file it away in the cabinet titled "Monica Will Not Be Perpetually Single and Sometimes People Are Nice" folder.

Now, fast forward to my second AP Exam this morning.

This time, I wear sweatpants like everyone else cuz I overslept my alarm. First one there anyways. Guidance counselor shows up. She unlocks the door, I come inside, bunches of people arrive. Put my social skills of an agoraphobic lobster to work. Then, as I'm about to head back to the back room to stalk the other people, guidance counselor is all like:

"Can you hold open the door to let people in? Otherwise it stays locked."

Everyone deserts me, and I'm left standing there, waiting for the late kids, with the realization that the closest thing I've ever had to a Darcy moment was a fluke. He held the door because otherwise, me and the three people behind me wouldn't have been able to get in.

My initial reaction:

Followed by:

forever alone.

Oh well.

Wheel of Fortune

Sometimes, I feel pretty unlucky. Like when I find myself falling asleep during prom because I had an allergic reaction to a walnut in the chicken salad (?) and I'm drugged up on Benadryl. Or when my prom date gets a flat tire. Or when I finally get home at nine o'clock at night and literally fall out of my the driver's seat of my dad's truck while balancing a book, a laptop, and a large pizza, muttering to myself, "Ah, the irony of being called Grace" (my middle name), only to be caught in the act by a large dog and accompanying gentleman. To whom I proceeded to say "good evening" in the friendly tone that, according to my sister, is "really weird".

Fortune? She is a strumpet.

Fortune has not smiled down upon me.

I have bruised my back by walking into the chimes in the pit band. I cut my thumb making a milkshake. I ran into an incredibly intimidating girl on the only occasion I have ever in my high school career made the decision to run to class. And yet...

Fortune has smiled down upon me! Because I, ladies and gentleman, have had a flurry of writing activity. Not to mention a lovely day. After my AP English Exam (which was full of little happy surprises for me, which I may not disclose... curse you College Board), I got to eat at Panera's. Mmmmm... My best friend and I then went to Wal-Mart and bought BFF necklaces, a Captain American cup, and a cheese grater. (Long story.) Then, we went to Goodwill and browsed the used books section, which resulted in some dramatic readings of romance novels and Pride and Prejudice in my very best Ricky Collins voice... Like so.

Oh Ricky. *grin*

If you thought I just wanted to tell the world about my life... you're partially right. But there's a moral to the story! Just like the early episodes of Hannah Montana!

"Wow, I learned so much about respecting my family and friends, humility, and how to be a good person. I certainly how this show doesn't become about a materialistic diva that reflects the behavior of the actress who portrays me!"

My point is, I would highly recommend adding little bits of luck in your characters' lives... and short moments of misfortune as well. Good days and bad days are part of life. If your story doesn't balance the two...

Well, it won't be good.

The Idea of the Century

When you're feeling down, I would highly recommend you look up people's stories concerning their interactions with characters at Disney. Too cute for words.

I could go on for hours about every second of the interactions I had when my family went on our first and only trip to Disney World two summers ago, but I will just sum it up: It was awesome. I spazzed over Belle and I might have shouted on accident. I gushed to Naveen and Tiana that I had seen their movie over twenty times. I got a picture with the adorable Flynn Rider. My sister and I chased after Peter Pan, who we missed, unfortunately. (I plan to go back to Disney, walk right up to him, declare my intentions to become a lost girl, and show him my best crow.) I'm telling you, meeting the characters at Disney is one of the most fun things I've ever done.

*smolder* My hair was so short 2 years ago. Wow.

I have lots more pictures but you probably don't want to see all of them, Plus, I look like I'm 10. Flynn/Eugene is enough.

So basically, I've had the idea of the century. We make Literature World... and we populate it with literature themed rides and GREAT CHARACTERS OF LITERATURE INTERACTIONS.

Picture this.

Big Brothers posters, everywhere.

The Huck Finn Log Flume. Instead of logs, you're on rafts.

The Gatsby Rollercoaster. In that flashy yellow car with Daisy at the wheel.

Fahrenheit 451 Ride. Your car is chased by the mechanical hound!

Meet-and-greet with Darcy and Elizabeth. Push Lizzy out of the way, and flirt with the gent.

The Haunted House. Featuring the ghosts of King Hamlet and Catherine Earnshaw.

Narnia Train Ride. You start in a train station in England, then you're in Narnia, summoned by Susan's horn!

Now let's add more books.

Attend a ball at the pavilion! Beware Keeper; If you're lucky, Bradford will ask you for a spin.

Play paintball Hunger Games!

Come to the bonfire! Tell mountain stories. Dance with ribbons. Learn to quarryspeak.

What do y'all think? Any ideas for this amusement park? The above are only the tip of iceberg!

It's just been one of those days...

... when you scream "but his good opinion once lost is lost forever!" across the table at your best friend.

... that requires old Taylor Swift.

... that makes you want to work out, all day long, because just jogging to pick up a Frisbee feels like the world is coming to an end.

... that involves a lot of unexpected junk food.

... that makes you regret ever taking AP courses.

... that tempts you to quit your job, simply because you are so hung up on not screwing up.

... that makes you realize how incredibly blessed you are.

Believe it or not, today was a lovely day. I'm fending off some serious bouts of stress, though. Can I say DEADLINES? But hey, what can I say? It's just been one of those days.

PS - Wish me luck on the two essays and short story I need to complete ASAP. Hoping I can still call myself a writer after all of this insanity!

Writer's Fight Club

Disclaimer: I've never seen Fight Club. But I have seen the trailer for Jane Austen's Fight Club.

Basically, I propose that we (you and every writer out there who is reading this) form our own Fight Club. We hit our readers as hard as we can... right in the feels. Kind of like Episode 4 of Season 3 of Downton Abbey. Right. In. The. Feels.

Since I'm still smarting from last night's episode - and by "smarting" I mean "trying to understand why my family and I just can't pick up and move on after a simple TV show" - I figured I would talk a little bit about emotion. Also, I found a way to tie in the awesome trailer above, which then proceeds to tie into the 200th Anniversary of Pride & Prejudice, which also shamelessly allows me to plug the 83rd episode of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries. I am aware I just wrote a run-on sentence. Please, ignore it.

Making sure your story has plot twists is essential. Making sure those plot twists resonate with your readers is a different story. Here are some examples (SPOILER ALERT):

- Pride and Prejudice: Finding out that Lydia ran away with George Wickham. Readers can't see this plot twist coming, as the two characters never seem to express any explicit interest in each other. Yet the twist isn't entirely improbable, as the reader knows that Lydia is silly and flirtatious, and George is a scumbag who has dabbled in such behavior before. Readers care because Lizzy and her family's reputation are at stake. The actual delivery of this plot twist is dramatic because Mr. Darcy is present when Lizzy gets the news.

- Downton Abbey: Sybil's death. (Yeah, I went there.) Viewers don't see it coming, because the baby is healthy and Sybil appears totally fine after giving birth. Yet when she starts having her seizure, it makes sense: Dr. Clarkson warned about eclampsia, and it can still kill after giving birth. Viewers care because Sybil is sweet and kind, and Tom and the baby need her. The actual plot twist is dramatic because her death could have been prevented, and because no one took Sybil to the hospital, everyone is entirely helpless when she dies.

- The Princess and the Frog: Tiana and Naveen turn human! (I needed to sneak a happy one in.) Viewers, or at least not this one, don't see it coming because they have been led to believe that the "happy ending" lies within Naveen and Tiana getting married. Yet it makes sense, because... Well... "Once you became my wife, that made you..." "... a princess! You just kissed yourself a princess!" And as we know from earlier, kissing a princess breaks the spell! The actual plot twist is dramatic, because OBVIOUSLY they're human and happy and it's a Disney movie. 

I picked at least two plot twists because they stick with the themes of my post, but obviously I could post hundreds more. There are twists in the beginning, the middle, and end, of big and small proportions, dealing with characters of every persuasion. The question is, do these twists mean anything? Do they make your reader feel something? Joy? Fear? Sorrow?

Just because I love lists, here are some tips on writing awesome plot twists:

1. Don't let your readers see it coming! Never underestimate the element of surprise. Sometimes authors make the mistake of eluding too often to a certain twist. A small hint here or there can't hurt... (Downton spoiler: Slipping in a nasty Lord Grantham comment about Catholics makes Branson's desire to have the baby baptized Catholic even more tense.) Just don't overdo it. Get feedback from someone you trust. Make sure you don't leave too many clues.
2. Don't be too cliche. Some cliches are unavoidable, or can have a fresh twist put on them. Yet others are so overused or classic that readers can't help but see them coming (see #1). If you're writing a Disney movie, you can get away with a few. But try and avoid heroes saving the day during a villain monlogue, the death that everyone saw coming, etc. Most cliches lie elsewhere, but beware cliched plot twists anyway!
3. Make it personal. Fear nothing. Kill off an unlikely major character. Permanently injure an unsuspecting victim. Give a happy ending when all the odds go against it. This third tip really boils down to how well written and constructed your story is, so this is another area where feedback can help. Ask your beloved critique partners if the twist made them feel anything, anything at all. If they complain that it's falling flat, do everything in your power to fix the twist... or ditch it if necessary. 

Chances are, I've taught you nothing. However, it can't hurt to keep all this in mind as we, the new members of the Writer's Fight Club, go out to pick a fight with readers everywhere... and lose. *

* Note: I honestly don't know what Fight Club is about, so why do you want to lose? I mean, all I know is that Rule One of Fight Club is don't talk about Fight Club. Why even fight? I don't get it.

Anyways, I think I'm gonna go get punched in the feels by Pride & Prejudice to celebrate the book's 200th. Read a few chapters. Watch a few clips. Ardently admire and love Darcy. The usual.

Doing something daring.

As much as I love adventure, I am not the most adventurous person. I play it safe in practically every field. Don't do anything with a risk factor above 0.00001. Don't eat anything too abnormal. Don't say anything that will attract attention (okay, that one's a bit of a lie). But seriously. My sister has told me to not play the rules so much. Yes, ladies and gentlemen: I have been told to "let my hair down", "break some rules once in awhile", and "live a little". Her words, not mine.

Yet today, I decided to do something daring.

I signed up for the 100 for 100 Challenge! *cue the fanfare*

Go Teen Writers, a blog for young writers that y'all should really check out, is hosting their second 100 for 100 Challenge. Basically, for 100 days, you write 100 words per day. All the same manuscript. Like a less frenzied version of NaNo.

On a side note, I'm watching You've Got Mail for the first time as I type this. I missed the beginning, and I'm on a schedule, so I'll probably miss the end, but the Pride & Prejudice references? Much appreciated. Especially since I've been obsessed with The Lizzie Bennet Diaries to the point of insanity for the past few weeks, and I had to explain the whole "Colin Firth lake scene" to my sister last night. Did I mention I reread part of the book two days ago? Maybe these coincidences are really a SIGN. The Doctor says, never ignore a coincidence, unless you're busy.

Anyways, you all are probably thinking how while this 100 for 100 is indeed a challenge, it's not much of an adventure. Well, brace yourselves: I have made the split-second decision to go through with writing that Downton Abbey-esque novel I've been hinting at. The idea is strong enough that I think I could slap together 10k. It will be a good indicator of whether or not the story has any real steam.

What do you think? Am I crazy? Will you all punish me if I fail? Do you think Darcy is trying to contact me through near constant P&P references?

DARCY. Between the suspenders, the occasional newsboy caps/bow ties, and his astounding vocabulary, I've decided that the LBD version of The Great Love Interest of Literature is my soul mate. Move over, Lizzie.

PS - Why is this movie so adorable?